Intro to Nommunication .

Nom-mu-ni-ca-tion: Noun. \ˈnō-ˌmyü-nə-ˈkā-shən\

• Definition: The Japanese practice of getting to know one's coworkers over a few (or many... or a weekend of...) drinks.

• Origin: A play on words taken from the Japanese verb "nomu" (to drink) and the English noun "communication."

• Purpose: to break down hierarchical boundaries, strengthen team spirit, and create embarrassing situations that no one will speak of ever again.

Forget Movember. It's been Nommunicember for the last 3 weeks, and my, has it been rewarding. Between nights out with the ladies and a staff trip to Gunma, I've been nommunicating like it's my job (which I think it is). Here are a few things I've learned through nommunication:

1. Whose favourite drink is a box of red wine.
2. Who is afraid of me, but only until we yell kampai (aka cheers). Then we're friends.
3. Which teacher is a "player" and "not good to the ladies." I can't tell you how strange this conversation was - mainly because said teacher was nodding in agreement.
4. Who loves hairy chests.
5. Who is disappointed her husband doesn't have one. (Hint - 4 and 5 are the same person.)
6. Who wants to get married (to the counselor who visits the school on Wednesdays, specifically.)
7. Who wears what colour of undies. Not something I necessarily needed to know, but after the first round, the yukatas got a bit loose.
8. Which teachers are too old for me to date (all except one, apparently, which suggests to me that the school nurse has an agenda.)
9. Whose children are certifiably insane.
10. That sake-pajama parties are probably the most fun anyone could have with their coworkers.

Of course, I always let a few of my true colours show for the sake of fitting in. Like the fact that everyone now knows my pajamas consist of Christmas bottoms and a fuzzy cat sweater. But you know what - I'm not even embarrassed about it.


In other news, it's getting a bit cold over here. Winnipeg's dry winters have not prepared me for this wet, cold air, and I'm not entirely sure how to deal with it. So I bought myself a wool sweater and a plane ticket to Australia. Just thinking about the beach warms me up!

My Life is a Series of Strange Questions and Answers

Every day I'm blown away by the weird things people say to me. I actually can't believe it sometimes. I just want to ask "does that translate to something normal in Japanese, or is this really what you meant to say?" When I'm not colouring or staring at the wall, I use my spare time at work to document all of the weird things that happen in my life. Here are but a few memorable conversations. Enjoy!

Do you like alcohol?
What a way to start a conversation - and a friendship! It's usually the first thing anyone asks me, and they say it just like that. Not "do you like sake" or "do you like beer." Just alcohol. It makes me feel like they're asking if I drink rubbing alcohol. Which I don't.

What is your hobby?
I hate this question. a) It makes me feel like I have to have one, and b) like I can have only one. And I think there's some kind of hobby standard in Japan, like it needs to be a craft with a significance rooted deep in my country's history. Lately, the only thing I do that even resembles a hobby is putting my pajamas on at 7 pm and listening to reruns of CBC News, but I'm not about to go telling people that. I also like to bake.

What sport do you play?
An endless point of embarrassment, this one. I don't play sports, and don't be fooled by my 8th grade shot-put victory. That was won purely by default. I lose interest quickly, I have no sense of team spirit, and I'm paralyzed by the fear of letting everyone down because I can't throw, catch or aim, and my 70 year old arches get cranky when I forget to bring my orthotics.


Are you going to a drug party?
Canadians have a bit of a reputation in Japan - apparently we like to dabble in illicit fun. But that kind of fun gets you deported over here, so imagine my surprise when the art teacher asked me if I was going to a "drug party" for Halloween. That was our first and only conversation. (Side note: I have since learned that she probably meant "drag party." My bad.)

What about the Freedom Penis?
WHAT ABOUT IT??? I thought as my face squinted, my head tilted and the power of speech escaped me. I'm not making this up. In a recent lesson about flags, countries and national monuments, my teacher threw this curve ball. I just stood there in shock while thirty 11 year olds erupted in laughter, who - if they're anything like my 6th grade class - looked up all dirty words and private parts the first time they got their hands on a bilingual dictionary. The mental image of him doing Statue of Liberty charades while repeating "Freedom Penis" are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

















And then there are the questions that I ask which, more often then not, lead into a tangent almost immediately. Like the time I asked a teacher about the students going to the gym to prepare for the chorus festival. As soon as I said "gym," I triggered something he'd clearly been rehearsing for weeks, and he proceeded to explain the upcoming school relay, complete with a chalkboard diagram of a student running and passing off the team sash. It was like no chorus festival I'd ever seen. I'm only three months in to my indefinite stay in Japan. This is only the beginning.