Living. Working. Laughing.

I went to the shop today to pick up some essentials. With nothing in my fridge but some kale and a door full of sauce, I was in dire need of some provisions for the weekend. Just the essentials, I told myself. I've been feeling guilty about a recent walnut-cheese spree at the local dairy and I'm trying to set some personal limits.

Kato Bokujo Dairy

When I saw it, I tried to stop myself. Look away. Walk away. But it stared at me from its perch on the 1,050円 shelf, coaxing me in that  frosty blue glass.

3 words: Chilled. Riesling. Twist-cap. If that's not a sign from God, I don't know what is. I couldn't say no, partially out of gluttony, but really because I'd just acquired the soundtrack for Staying Home And Being Emotional,
commonly known as The Entire CocoRosie Discography. This is best enjoyed with a glass of wine.

So here I am, sitting on my brand new sofa with my old friend Ries, contemplating my upcoming one year anniversary with Japan. I know I should have written earlier, so I've come up with some excuses as to why I have not:

A) Writer's block. I've fallen into the trap of thinking I'm not doing anything worth writing about, just living my life, working 9-5. What a way to make a living. Barely getting by, it's all taking and no giving. (That's not actually true. That was my rendition of Dolly Parton's "9-5", and if you didn't already know that, we can't be friends.)

B) I don't have a computer, thus, no vessel to type on. Hugo, my faithful Macbook, finally succumbed to my years of abuse. It's like he sensed the AKB48 I was injecting him with and lost the will to live, which I totally understand.

Spring flowers in Hidaka

But despite my lack of writing, I have been thinking a lot about life, especially as a second year approaches - a chance for me to do this all over again. At a recent meeting at my Board of Education, my supervisor asked me how things are going in Japan. Am I enjoying work? Classes? Would I want to move to a different school?

As much as I love the idea of working at the school next door, if only for the extra half hour of sleep, I can't imagine not working with my students. I don't know what has come over them, but recently they've really let their true colours show. I have an exhaustive list of students I can't pay attention to because they are hilarious — so hilarious that they jeopardise my professionalism in the work place/ anyone's ability to take me seriously.

Here are a few favourites:

1. Chronic Nose Picker: His finger is always in his nose. And I don't mean a cheeky tickle at the bottom of his nostril. I mean knuckle-deep, All. The. Time.

2. Duran Duran: One day she just showed up to school rocking the sickest 1980s mullet. It's got everything - body, layers and height.

3. Bangs: He's 11 years old and has the best bangs I've ever seen.

4. Any kid after haircut day: For some reason, a lot of kids get their hair cut on the same weekend, often using the same bowl. I literally spend the first week after hair cut day looking at the floor.

5. Front-and-center-always-wrong: I've mentioned him before. His enthusiasm, if nothing else, deserves an A. He yells at me from across the parking lot every morning, screaming "I'M FINE!" before I even get the chance to ask. He'd probably have a greater library of emotions to choose from if he paid attention in class. But he's creative when it comes to distracting himself from lessons, and I respect that. I once caught him trying to balance pens on his face. After 50 minutes of failed attempts, he left class with his face literally covered in red ink.

6. Sleeping Beauty: If his naps weren't so controlled to the exact length of class, I'd assume he was narcoleptic. But there's no way that kind of clockwork could be a disease. Diseases just aren't that convenient. I was initially really insulted my his blatant disinterest in English class — like, am I not interesting enough for you to even stay awake? But after watching him sleep through an entire band class, I realised that it's not me. It's definitely him.

7. Slanderer: His basic conversation could use some work, but man, is he impressive when it comes to defamation. Just last Saturday, his sister "went to hell," and he recently shared with me that his best friend is "a hobo."

8. Real Friendly Bastard: He doesn't speak much. He usually just sits quietly at his desk, or if we're doing an activity that requires participation, under it. He's 10 years old, and the boys in his class are pretty rowdy/ in the discovering stages of their own sexuality and somehow manage to work some kind of inappropriate gesture into every activity. He's shy. He doesn't like to draw attention to himself, and I get that. Which is why I literally had a heart attack when I noticed the red sweater he wears every day says "You're a real friendly bastard" in bold letters across the bottom.

If my words haven't expressed how funny daily life is, watch this video. It's so real.